Saturday, April 16, 2011

Long Distance Relationship Perks

In the beginning of our long distance affair, all I can think of were the complexities of this kind of relationship. Of course it didn’t do me any good. It only made the situation more difficult than it already is. Lucky, the man I choose to be in this kind of relationship is indescribably awesome. He patiently waited for me to believe that this can work. Now, that the storm has passed and I can see the rainbow materializing in a distance not too far away. I also see our relationship in a different light. So instead of dwelling on the negative things this has to offer, I thought of the benefits on being in this kind of relationship. Seeing the good things in my situation makes everything endurable and easy. This is what I came up with.

If you're not up for long reading, you can skip read. I just wrote this so I have something to remind myself when things get rough that our love situation now, is not entirely terrible.

The Perks


1.       More time for myself – Not at first, because all we can think of is  to communicate as much as we can. So we did. Every moment away from the necessary things we do, was spent talking using skype. Eventually things get really boring because we were running out of things to say. To eliminate the irritating dead air, we agreed that we will have some time to breathe.  I spent those breathing moments to do the things I love to do. I write blog, read a book, watch several movies, catch up with my favorite TV Series and go out with friends  and family. I can go to the mall and browse as much as I want before I decide on what to buy, which I cannot do comfortably when we’re still together. I get more things done and so does he. When it’s time for us to meet again on the cyber-web we already miss each other so bad that both of us can’t stop talking.

2.       Cool stuff – Since he goes abroad to earn more than what he can earn here, it gives him some extra cash to spoil her lovely girlfriend A.K.A me. In his one year abroad, I already received few “cool stuff” from him. Although every time those cool stuff touched my hand, I can’t help but imagine what it feels like to touch him instead. But that moment doesn’t last long, because I will shift my concentration on the thoughtfulness of the gestures and I’ll fall in love with him all over again (and for the first time on the “cool stuff”. giggle)

3.       Receiving Love email- Nowadays, you don’t get to receive love letters often. It is now  an endangered species of love memorabilia. Usually men confessed their love or attraction through text or social networking sites. It’s still sweet, yes, but nothing beats the lovely words in scribble, because it’s more personal.  In normal relationship you don’t get to receive love letters often or sometimes you don’t get anything at all. Since snail “love” mail will take forever to reach you, love email is a great replacement. Its permanent and the writing  will never fade. It is also very personal.  I love receiving love e-mail from Jed because he says things that he usually doesn’t say everyday and I can hold on to it for a lifetime. On my down moments, I read each of them again and somehow my spirits lifted knowing that a loving guy is out there getting ready for our future.

4.       Getting closer to his family- When you’re partner is abroad and his family is still here. You can’t help but check on them from time to time. In my case, I love visiting Jed’s family because with them it feels like I got permission to talk about him in an excessive degree. I’m sure they won’t mind for they are craving for information about him as well. I also like the feeling that I am in a group of people who're in harmony with me in missing Jed. This way, I became closer to them.  When he gets back he’ll be outplace. lol

5.       Strengthening trust to one another- Trust is the most essential aspect in any relationship. When you’re in a long distance relationship your trust to one another will be put to a test.  It’s a perfect opportunity to find out how loyal you’re partner is to you. It’s tough not being with your partner physically, not knowing what he does in most of his living hours and the people around him, but if each partner remains truthful and faithful to one another, then you’ll know you’re perfect for each other. A Long distance relationship with a strong foundation of trust has a long way to go. When you reunite, your partner is less likely to cheat on you. Jed and I trust each other and that makes this kind of relationship easy to bear.

There still several things I can think of but I thought I’ll share it next time. Thanks for reading, lovely people.


17 comments:

  1. aww this is a very sweet post! i've never been in a long distance relationship but i usually here negative feedback from people that have been in these relationships. Its so good and refreshing to find someone that has positive things to say about it. goodluck in your relationship and i wish u both all the best :)

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  2. It's a lovely entry.. but sad to say I cant concentrate on reaing it.. I am destructed with my work today... I'll read it again later in the house... anyway... I can relate to you story.. definitely I can.

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  3. Daming makakarelate sa post mo.

    una na ako don, ang asawa ko dito ko na nakilala sa cyber world, long distance kami, dalawang beses lang kami nagkita, ang pangalawang beses ay noon ikasal na kami. hehe

    1- dito sa number 1 mo, nahirapan ako sa asawa ko, dahil nga gusto niya 24/7 kaming nag uusap sa skype..hehe..so what i did is, lagi ko sinasabi sa kanya na hindi lang kami ang tao sa mundo, at ako na ang gumagawa ng paraan para malimitahan ang time namin sa skype, hanggang sa nasanay na siya.

    2. wala kami nito, pareho kaming nagwowork, kaya busy for the cool stuff..hahaha

    3. Dito siya believe sa akin, dahil araw-araw may love letters ako sa kanya..hehe..

    4. wala din kami nito..hehe..kasi we both in abroad.

    5. Trust, ito naman ang panlaban niya sa akin, sa lahat ng minahal ko buong buhay ko, siya lang ang nagtiwala sa akin ng buong buo, sobrang nagtiwala siya sa akin kahit minsan alam niyang nagluluko ako, nagtiwala parin siya sa akin. naiyak ako..hehehe

    sorry kunti lang masasabi ko sa long distance relationship..hehe

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  4. Pssst!... Ako na din ang nakakarelate ng bongga... actually nagstart naman kase kame talaga sa long distance.. pero di ko alam na itong second time namin na gagawin yun maging sobrang mahirap.. nag-uusap pa rin kame sa skype.. kase ako nag-aadjust kase di naman ako busy.. hehehhe :)

    And true ung sinabi mo na lalong tumitibay relationship... di ba? Kase walang physical communication.. puro usap lang.. tapos mas madameng nasasabi.. mas nashashare yung feelings sa isa't isa.. :)

    Malapit na Mayen.. I know you can't wait to see him again.. :)

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  5. kitkat – Yes I’ve been trying so hard to be positive about it. After all I love the guy and after more than a year in this relationship I can say that I love him even more. This might doesn’t work for everyone and I’m glad it did for us.. thanks so much for reading kitkat. You’re so sweet.
    aww this is a very sweet post! i've never been in a long distance relationship but i usually


    musingan – Thanks Al. This post is too long so I understand if you won’t be able to read this. Thanks for taking time to comment though!


    Akoni – Nag-enjoy ako sa comment mo, ang sweet ng story nyo. Imagine twise lang kayo nagkita tapos kasal na. Ang swerte nya kasi lagi sya may love letter. I love love letters..At dapat magpakabait ka sa kanya at alagaan ang trust.


    Kamila –tama kamil, mas tumitibay ang relationship kasi nga di nagkukulang lalo na sa communication. Masarap din malaman na you can talk to your partner ng matagal, kasi pag tanda nyo mag-uusap na lang kayo at kung wala syang kwentang kausap pano na. hehe..

    Good luck sa inyo ah? Sana malampasan nga talaga nati ito. Yes, malapit na konting konting paghihintay na lang. thanks kamil!!!

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  6. long distance love is hard, and most of the time doesn't last long. i'm glad that you are happy and made it work :) you are blessed, dove. stay smiling, and embrace the love that you have found! after all, if the love you have is real, it is worth the wait. always... always. *hugs*

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  7. thank you haze, what a sweet comment. I know we can get through this. I'm positive. :)

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  8. aww. this was so sweet. i've known a few people who've been in long distance relationships and they say it would ever work, but i also know some people who have also met their wife or their husband online and others who have had to go through a long distance relationship and have made it. guess you belong to the latter.

    congrats to you guys! hope you guys continue to stay strong and eventually pull through! :D

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  9. Long distance relationship is not easy.. yan ang naging dahilan ng paghihiwalay namin ni "She who must not be name".. sabi niya.. due to parati akong wala.. eh na fall out of love na lang daw siya bigla at nafall in love siya sa iba... ehehhehe...

    yeah tama ka.. nakakasawa din ang araw araw na naguusap kayo sa skype or ano pa man.. nakakaumay.. nawawalan ng spark,. dapat mag pa miss ka naman ng konti... at ganun din siya...

    Cooll stuff hah... ahahha... dati madalas din akong magpadala sa kanya ng mgha ganyan... kaso ngayon.. wala na kami.. kaya solong solo ko na ang pera ko... eeheh

    Yes.. masmaganda pa rin ang personalan na bigayan ng letters.. ako kahit uysong uso na ang Frenster noon.. talagang... nagiinitiate parin ako ng love ko.. through self made na letters and cards... at mga presence...

    being with family.. uu.. dapat lang.. para mafeel nila na hinid lang anak nila nag gusto mong makasama kundi ang kanilang pamilya mismo.. ng makipag hiwalay siya sa akin.. di niya alam na pati sa family niya eh nasaktan din ako.. kasi napamahal na silang lahat sa akin...

    trust.. dapat.. yan ang pinakamahalaga sa relasyon... lapag nawala yan.. wala ring saysay ang pagmamahal...

    lastly.. nagenjoy ako sa kakabasa ng sulat mo.. nice one.... super nagustuhan ko siya.. really.. from the buttom of my blog...

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  10. long distance realtionship?!! haaay..i've experienced it before..mahirap..sobra...di nagwork out para sa amin..but we both decided about it....

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  11. ate forgive me if i can't relate to your post. we both know that my love life isn't good at all.. hehe

    all i can say is, i will pray for a stronger relationship with you and kuya jed. Always be happy and inspired ate.

    see you soon. =)

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  12. ate forgive me if i can't relate to your post. we both know that my love life isn't good at all.. hehe

    all i can say is, i will pray for a stronger relationship with you and kuya jed. Always be happy and inspired ate.

    see you soon. =)

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  13. this is what you called optimism and I am very glad you're able to see the good behind the sacrifices.

    1. More Time for Yourself this is something you shouldn't forget even when he's back. This is one of the mistake I did in my past relationship. I gave everything and every time I have but all those were never appreciated.

    Learn to manage your time for him and for yourself. It's really a bliss to learn that you find and do the things you love while he is away and don't let go of them pero hindi ko sinabing dedmahin mo si Jed. Dapat you should also find great adventures with him along the way.

    2. Cool Stuff Cool talaga yan!!! in the meantime sila muna asikasuhin mo para pagdating ni Jed, dedma na sila. hahaha! Malay mo that time ayaw mo na sa kanila, nandtio lang kami...hehehe!

    3. Receiving Love email Love letters really are esdangered species. Love letters are really something that we should treasure. Alam mo ba kahit uso na ang email, I see to it that I made something personal, like love letters and cards na personalized talaga. Ewan ko ba, basta gusto ko gumawa nun, siguro dahil mahilig talaga ako magsulat.

    It's really endearing to go back to those love letters whether it be in writing or through email. May suggetion ako sayo for a love letter, I'll send you the email. Haha!

    4. Getting close to his family This is the best part of being in a relationship. You get additional people who will love you along the way. I remember one time my mother told me that I should love the family more than I love the man and if ever hindi ako tanggap ng family ng isang guy wag ko an daw ituloy dahil eventually ako din ang masasaktan and mahirap ang walang blessing. Infairness naman lahat ng relationship napagdaanan ko, tanggap ako ng mga family nila and I am very thankful for that.

    I am happy that you get along with Jed's family. Love them so dear!It'll be worth it.

    5. Strengthening Trust to one another I agree and let's add honesty, fidelity, understanding and love. with that all together, You'll live happily ever after. Yay for that!!!

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  14. these are some really good points. it's so inspiring to see you being so confident and happy about your situation. :D
    thanks for following my blog! ♥ following back, i'm your 50th :D

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  15. cute :)
    Glad you can focus on the positives :)
    <3

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  16. I not into long distance relationship, but you helped me understand the meaning of long distance. thank you and good day.

    http://arandomshit.blogspot.com/

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  17. ishashime – I really hope we belong to those who made it. We’ve gone this far a little more time wouldn’t hurt. Let’s cross our fingers to that. Thanks ishashime. :)


    musingan – haha.. “she who must not be named” talaga ah? Nakakasad ang story mo ah? Na fall out of love? Siguro hindi sya fully committed sa relationship nyo. Pero ayoko mag judge. Yaan na natin sya basta ikaw unti-unti nang nagiging masaya.

    Malamang marami syang cool stuff from you noon, eh namimigay ka nga ng pamasahe sa pier eh. Hehe..yung mahal mo pa kaya..

    Sweet ang letters and card lalo na pag sarilig gawa yung card. Si jed hindi talaga mahilig dyan, pero hindi naman sya nahihiyang sabihin ang nararamdaman nya sa salita. Ok na din yun. Hehe..

    Maswerte ako at mabait ang family ni Jed. So far sa dati ko din naging close din ako sa family nila. Tama ka na dapat ipakita natin sa family ng love natin, na pati sila mahal din natin.. naks.

    Thanks sa comment al and thanks na-appreciate mo to. :)



    iya_khin – awww that was sad, pero siguro it’s not meant to be. Baka may ibang nilaan sayo si Lord. O baka meron na.. hehe.. thanks iya.


    pEarL – oo ikaw na ang broken hearted. Don’t worry it’ll pass. Thanks sa pagdadasal mo for us.



    Sey – as usual punto per punto.. hehe..eto rin ang punto per puntong sagot ko. Hehe..I owe the optimism to people like you here. Mga lagging nag-iinspire. Lahat kayo actually one or another nakakatulong para maging positive ako.

    1. More Time for Yourself this what I constantly reminding myself but most of the time it’s hard especially if Jed is around. Jed and I belong to a same set of friends’ kaya minsan kahit sa bonding with friends together kami. Pero enjoy naman.


    2. Cool Stuff hehe.. cge pag madami sobrang naibigay si Jed papahagi ko ang iba. Hehe..

    3. Receiving Love email that only means you’re really romantic. Ako din I love to write love letters, mas madami akong love letters na binigay kay jed kesa sya sa akin.

    4. Getting close to his family- syempre mabait kaya like ka ng family ng mga nagging ka-relasyon mo. Tama ang mother mo, hirap naman kasi talaga pag di mo kasundo ang family ng bf mo or husband mo. Kasi hindi naman totoo na hindi naman sila ang aasawahin mo pero sa totoo lang package deal yan kasi malaking parte sila ng buhay ng asawa mo or bf mo. Jed’s family is amazing, I love them so much!

    5. Strengthening Trust to one another –yun nay un sobrang tama ka!


    Furree Katt –thanks for following me back. I enjoyed reading your blog.

    Heather – thank you. I need to positive otherwise I’ll suffer. Lol..


    DENASE – anytime denase.. thanks for dropping by. Your such a good writer. I may not always comment on your post but I love reading it. I swear!

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thanks for the comment.